There's a Difference
by somebadhat
Summary: AU set around season seven. Hanna never died at the end of 'Help Me', and House and Cuddy never made up after their argument. Cuddy is marrying Lucas and House is invited.


Hey guys! I'm starting this because I pretty much led 'Humpty Dumpty' straight into smut which I don't do well with writing it. I'm blocked with that but needed to get some writing out so here's this! By the way, any songs House sings in this are actually from Hugh's new album so you don't have to imagine how it would sound when House sang them, you can listen!

* * *

House woke up that morning, severely hung over from the night before. His hair stuck out in all different directions and he looked like he had just come out of hibernation. He groaned and stretched. He quickly put his hand on his leg as it spasmed in pain. He closed his eyes.

His leg would do this to him every morning for the rest of his life. The pain would never get better, it demanded to be felt.

His stomach was basically begging for food. He limped into the kitchen with his hand on his thigh, stopping at the counter. There was a beige piece of paper sitting on the countertop that reminded him why he got so drunk last night. He reached out and held the thick paper between his fingers, reading what it said to himself.

_The honor of your presence_

_Is requested at the marriage of_

_Lisa Ruth Cuddy_

_To Lucas James Douglas_

_Saturday, September 7th_

_at four o'clock in the evening_

_The Heldrich Hotel_

_Princeton, New Jersey_

_Reception to follow_

Warily he laid it back down, not wanting to think about it. Today was Saturday, September 7th. Today Cuddy was marrying Lucas. And he was supposed to sit back and watch them.

The night of the crane wreck in Trenton House said things he didn't mean, Cuddy said things she probably did mean, but it didn't matter now. There was no changing what was going to happen. Cuddy seemed so sure in her choice to marry that man-child. Who was he kidding, House was a man-child himself.

She made her choice a long time ago, and it was never going to be him.

He looked through his cabinets for food dejectedly. In the end he decided on nothing. He had lost his appetite.

Ever since he had received the invitation things were different at work, worse at work. Small details turned into disagreements, which turned into scream matches. It happened every day. More than once a day. Animosity filled the air when they were near each other.

No matter how many times they yelled, cursed, and insulted the other they used to know they didn't hate each other. In the last few days Cuddy had begun to wonder, though. When they were in the same room House seemed to be filled from head to toe in rage, fighting not to let loose on her, channeling it through arguments about brain biopsies and dangerous diagnoses. House knew it wasn't hatred he was feeling, but lost love.

House sat down at his piano and rested his fingertips softly on the keys, not playing any notes. He hovered above the keys, wishing he could play, wishing for nothing more to let the sweet sound of his piano console him.

The music wouldn't come to him though; it couldn't flow through him into the instrument. He pressed down, playing a measure of Cuddy's Serenade before abruptly stopping. He just wasn't feeling the music today.

House stayed at the piano bench, deciding whether or not he was even going to the wedding at all. It could have just been an invitation so they weren't being rude excluding him. Cuddy had once invited him to Rachel's naming ceremony to keep him away from it.

It was at four o'clock, and it was noon now. He would have to decide soon.

He'd like to say he could just skip it, and deal with never knowing how what was supposed to be the happiest day of Cuddy's life went, but wasn't a man who could just do that. He needed the truth, he needed to know she was happy.

He picked up his phone and called Hanna, the girl he saved under the pile of rubble. They became friends after that, because there are just some things you can't go through without liking each other. House pretended not to want her around when she came by his apartment but Hanna knew it was just something he had to do.

"Hey. Meet me at the mall, I need your help with something."

[H] [H] [H] [H]

House showed up to the ceremony a little late, sitting in his car for a good ten minutes before deciding to grow a pair and get his ass in there. He didn't wear his usual attire, but instead he had on black dress pants to replace his jeans, a pressed white _tucked in_ dress shirt, a leather belt, and a blue tie probably borrowed from Wilson. He even left out the sneakers. The scruff was still there, it always would be, but right now he looked, well, like a proper gentleman.

He quietly sat towards the back, and as Cuddy read out her vows she saw him walk in and made eye contact with him. She was angry at first. He was going to show up to her wedding late and force her to turn her attention to him now of all times?

But she saw that he looked like he was struggling to be there, and felt remorse. Lucas noticed her expression and gave her a questioning look. She just smiled and gave him a reassuring nod. Lucas said his 'I do's and now it was Cuddy's turn.

"And do you, Lisa Cuddy, take him to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

She glanced back at House and saw he was staring at her intensely.

"I do." She said.

House was staring at the ground now, anywhere but her and Lucas. They both smiled and leaned in to kiss each other, and House made the mistake of taking a look. They both seemed so happy as their lips met and they had grins splayed on their faces.

[H] [H] [H] [H]

The reception would be equally difficult, with speeches that talk of the future and true love, and all those wedding-y topics that made House want to puke.

As soon as the toasts and first dance was done, people lined up for a dance with the bride. House thought it best he stayed away from that. He sat at his table with an annoying old lady who wouldn't stop talking. He was fighting his instinct to walk over to the bar and get smashed for the second night in a row.

At the bar he noticed Chase trying to pick up girls, for once unsuccessfully. He was off his game tonight, which made House smirk. Thirteen sat down and had him buy her a drink. Chase couldn't have a thing for her could he? As House sat at his table in silence, he looked around for people from the hospital. Wilson was dancing with Sam, swaying to the slow music. There was Taub, it looked like him and his wife was having an argument.

Foreman had brought himself a date, or found one here, but they were laughing at their table. Who knew he could laugh.

And then there was Lucas and Cuddy, where Lucas was cutting in to give her a kiss.

And there was House, sitting alone at his table. Of course if _he_ had tried to bring a date, someone to dance with, it would have just been seen as an evil plot to ruin Cuddy's day. Although, being honest with himself, it probably would be part of an evil plot.

All the music had stopped abruptly, and so did the dancing. Everyone looked around in confusion. Cuddy walked over to the DJ service.

"Why are you stopping?"

"Sorry, mam, we're having technical difficulties."

"Technical difficulties? This is my _wedding_, you better damn well hope you fix these _difficulties_ soon."

Lucas came up from behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, hey, come here. It'll be okay." He comforted her.

About ten minutes later there was no progress at all. Everyone was sitting idly and talking. Cuddy was horribly frustrated. She came over to his table and sat down next to House in an exasperated manner.

"These kinds of things always happen to me. I swear I have the worst luck in the world."

"Oh, we're talking again! Great." He said. Cuddy turned to snap at him but saw that he had a smirk.

"You're enjoying this, you jerk." She couldn't help but laugh though. Sometimes that's the only thing you can do.

"Yeah, you can't blame me though."

"And why not?" she asked. She was surprised House wasn't making any inappropriate comments yet.

"Because I'm watching the woman I've been chasing for years marry my friend. I'm allowed to have this one thing." House dropped his smile and looked at her solemnly. "Seriously, this isn't easy for me."

Cuddy looked at him sadly. "I know it's not. Thanks for coming though, it means a lot that you did." House just gave her nod. "You look handsome, by the way." She said. He ran his hand down the tie like he was impressed with it too.

"I went out and bought the whole outfit before I came. Had Hanna help pick it out for me." He looked down at himself.

"Seriously? You didn't have to do that."

"I don't know, I think I look pretty hot like this." He said in amused tone. Cuddy opened her mouth slightly but closed it again, deciding to leave that one alone because, to be honest, he did look hot. Just in time the man from the DJ service came up to them.

"The equipment isn't functioning, we'll call and ask them to bring another set up but it'll take a while. Maybe an hour or so." he looked at her like he was about to be torn apart by her. He knew how brides could be.

Cuddy just put her head in her hands disappointedly. "Great." She muttered. House wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. He reached out and put his hand on her back awkwardly. He glanced around the hotel and noticed a piano and a microphone that would usually have someone playing there nightly.

House stood up and limped over to the piano, sitting down heavily. Cuddy followed him with her eyes, confused till he sat on the bench. He pressed down a few keys, testing it out. People turned their heads to look at where the music was coming from, surprised to see House.

Everyone in the hospital knew he had musical talent from the rare times he would play his guitar to annoy Cuddy, but they never knew how deep it ran with him, how good he was. And what they heard was on extremely rare occasions.

He went on to play a slow few notes, but when everyone heard him sing, with his deep and almost loving voice, everyone started to talk. _No one_ had ever heard the biggest asshole in the hospital sing, and never about anything like love. It was the song Careless Love.

_"Love, oh love_

_Oh careless love_

_Love oh love love love love_

_Oh careless love_

_You make me_

_You make me weep_

_And you make me_

_You make me moan_

_You make me leave_

_My happy home"_

Everyone's jaw dropped in surprise. Up there, playing and singing, House looked the most human that they had ever seen. The notes were sweet and soft as was his voice.

Chase was the first to stand up. He held out his hand to Thirteen and she took it. Together they walked out to the dance floor and began to slowly sway. Soon everyone followed suit.

_"Careless love_

_You drove me_

_Through the rain and snow_

_Careless love_

_You drove me, you drove me_

_Through the wind and snow"_

Cuddy stayed planted in her spot, watching him caress and stroke the piano to create this beautiful song. His eyes were closed as he moved with the music, raising his eyebrows slightly and he sang out the sad words.

_"You robbed me_

_Out of my silver_

_And you robbed me_

_Out of my gold_

_I'll be damned_

_If I let you_

_Rob me out of my soul"_

The last few notes trailed off and he opened his eyes to see everyone in a sort of trance that his music had created. He glanced back at Cuddy who had tears in her eyes. She smiled at him in a sort of proud way and started clapping. Everyone joined in, laughing at the ludicrous idea of House being so emotionally invested in something like music.

He gave an uncomfortable smile and began to play the next song for everyone to dance to. It was 'Changes'.

The sweet tune filled the room and everyone seemed to be happy.

Lucas led Cuddy to the dance floor and they danced together. Cuddy realized what House was doing for her was more than a favor. He was playing the music for her at her to dance to with her new husband when he was in love with her. It must be so hard.

_"Love must always change to sorrow_

_And everyone must play the game,_

_Because it's here today and gone tomorrow_

_Still the world goes on the same"_

His voice rang out. He played song after song, some slow and some quick paced for everyone to have fun with. He didn't want Cuddy's wedding day to be miserable and if that meant had to put up with this he would.

After a little less than an hour he was grateful when a van pulled up with new equipment. His fingers were cramping up. Jumping out of the bench he went to the men's restroom to take a piss. When he pushed open the door though, Lucas was in there at the sink.

Lucas's face lit up when he saw him. He clapped House on the back with a smile. "Thank you so much, House, really. I owe you one."

House gave Lucas this sort of _don't touch me_ look. Lucas looked back at him in confusion.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing. You're welcome." He said curtly. If he and Cuddy were just beginning to get back on good terms he wasn't going to fuck it up by being an asshole to her new husband. House stepped over to the urinal and peed, sighing in relief when Lucas had gone back to the reception.

He went back himself and got a big load of cake. Wedding cake was the only good part about weddings. That and open bars.

Finally having some peace and quiet to himself, he stuffed himself full till he couldn't eat any more. He sat back in his seat and saw Lucas taking the garter off of Cuddy's smooth legs, jealous that this was Lucas's day with her and not his. After coming across that thought he wondered to himself whether or not he could be the marrying type. _Probably not_, he thought. He turned around and sat with his back facing the crowd.

He was the only one sitting down other than a bored 5 year old playing on a PSP and the same old lady. Things were okay while he was playing music but all of the sadness was rushing back as he had to listen to Cuddy's throaty laugher accompanied with Lucas Douglas's.

A shot of whiskey could help with that. He got a drink at the bar, ignoring the pain he felt in his leg at the moment because a little whiskey could help with that too.

[H] [H] [H] [H]

It was much later in the night and a lot of people had left. There were still a few people lingering but there wasn't nearly as many as there were before. Thing were beginning to slow down but House was still there, he wasn't sure why. It was about ten o'clock at night. The lighting in the room was low.

Rachel Cuddy came bounding up to him. She was wearing a white dress and little shoes to match.

"Howse!"

"Hey, kid."

"Was I the cutest flower girl in the whole wide world or what?" she asked, giggling at him.

"I've seen cuter."

Rachel put on a pouty face and gave House a dirty look. "Oh, I was just kidding. You're the cutest flower girl in the whole wide world." He should have been annoyed by her but instead he found himself laughing at her stubbornness. She obviously got it from her mom.

She twirled around in a circle. "I know." She said. She held out a small hand to House. "Come dance with me!"

"Aren't you supposed to be in bed by now?"

"Nope! Mommy says I can stay up as late as I want tonight."

"Oh goody." House said, but Rachel didn't pick up the sarcasm in his tone at all. She gestured for him to come out there with him and he reluctantly went.

"You're too short kid." He said.

"Pick me up!" What was it with little kids always wanting to be carried? He looked down at his leg and contemplated it. He could deal with it for one song, he thought.

"Come here." He lifted her and placed her on his side. One of her legs was on his stomach and the other on his back. He supported her with his hand under her bottom.

The little Cuddy put her hand around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. He stepped slowly in circle while holding the kid in his arms, and he had to admit it wasn't all bad. He couldn't even remember the last time he had tried to dance. Or even wanted to try.

House recognized the song playing and sang the words softly to her.

He could feel Rachel getting tired. The song had ended and as the next one came on he decided to keep dancing with her. Eventually after a few more songs, she fell asleep completely. Her hand slipped down from his shoulder to his chest.

Cuddy walked into the almost empty ballroom to see House swaying in the center of the room with her daughter asleep in his arms.

He had his eyes closed himself and to her surprise, he was holding Rachel's little hand on his chest. They were moving in a slow turn to 'The Scientist' by Coldplay. It was a nice song.

Cuddy pulled up her white gown and leaned against the wall, just watching them. A tear fell from her eye, and she wiped it away.

The song ended and House opened his eyes, noticing Cuddy.

"Sorry, she wanted to dance and fell asleep. Didn't want to wake her up…" he trailed off.

"No, it's okay." She smiled tiredly. House carried Rachel back to the table where he was sitting and sat with Rachel asleep against him. Cuddy followed and sat down, looking at her daughter with all the love in the world. She gave him that same look.

Sighing, she said, "This isn't easy for me either, you know."

House just looked at her with a galled expression. He shook his head. "Don't."

"What?" she had a confused expression.

"You went through with it, you made your choice. Don't make this difficult for me, please." He stared at her.

"It's possible to love two people at once. It is." She said, trying to justify herself.

House looked like his was about to start yelling when Rachel shifted in his arms. He spoke in an angry whisper. "You don't get _married_ when you're in love with more than one person." He stood up. "What room is Rachel sleeping in?" he obviously wanted to get away from Cuddy right now.

"4402." He held out his hand for the key card. "I'm coming. You have been treating me like shit ever since the crane accident in Trenton. Of course I'd go through with it when you're acting like that."

"Ever since Trenton? I think you mean ever since you told me you were engaged and that I was a lonely son of a bitch who had nothing and nobody. Thanks for that by the way, I needed to be reminded."

They walked into the elevator still speaking in low but frustrated tones.

"What I said then is nothing compared to what you've said to me since. I was starting to wonder if you hated me, seriously." House glared at her.

The doors opened and Cuddy walked away heatedly. House stepped out of the elevator but stopped. She realized she was walking alone and turned around to see a hurt look on House's face.

"Don't you fucking say that. You know I don't hate you. You know I couldn't even if I wanted to. I wished I did today, this would have been easier." House shifted Rachel so she was being cradled by her legs and shoulders. His leg was putting him in excruciating pain but he wouldn't let Cuddy see it.

"You hate me, you wished you hate me, what's the difference?"

"You know the difference."

They approached the room. Cuddy unlocked the door with a key card and held the door open for him. He set Rachel down on the closest bed. He backed off a bit and Cuddy came forward to take off her shoes and pull the blankets over her. For a moment the both stood there and looked at her silently. She looked peaceful.

House limped out of the hotel room and back towards the elevator, needing to get home. Cuddy followed him out in to the hall.

"House!"

He didn't answer though, he kept limping with his hand against the wall. He got to the elevator and clicked the button. He tapped his fingers on his leg impatiently. Cuddy approached him, standing in between him and the elevator.

"Look, I'm sorry about everything. About Trenton, and how we've acted these last few months."

The door slid open and before she knew what was going House had his hands on her hips and was pushing her back into the elevator. He had her against the wall before the door closed, pinning her there.

"I forgot to tell you you look beautiful in that gown."

House's face was mere inches away from hers, but that's as close and as far away as he got. Their breaths mingled and they could each feel the heat radiating off the other. The doors closed once more and Cuddy closed her eyes and waited for his lips to come crashing down on hers. She waited, but it didn't happen. She reopened her eyes, looking into his eyes.

He looked like he was roaming her face, trying to take in little details up close. He paused over her lips and Cuddy could feel that was where his eyes had locked in.

"House." she almost pleaded. He couldn't be so close to her, so achingly close to her. Not on her wedding day, not in a hotel elevator. But suddenly that didn't matter anymore not to Cuddy and certainly not to House.

"I won't kiss you." he whispered. "Not unless you ask me to." He brushed his thumb lightly across the lace on her dress where his hands were resting on her hips. By the look on his face though it looked like he'd keel over right then if she told him she didn't want him to.

"Please." She said quietly, knowing exactly what she was asking for.

House moved but one more inch closer before murmuring, "Say it."

Cuddy closed her eyes.

"Kiss me." He gave her a warm look before bringing his face down to hers.

He brushed his face next to hers as he kissed her softly, their lips mingling together experimentally. House moved in tongue to meet hers, testing and tasting and exploring. The movements were slow and sweet, not rushed and desperate.

Tension began to build slowly. Cuddy brought her hand up to run her fingers through House's hair, but with her brain turning fuzzy from the mind-blowing, knee-weakening kiss she couldn't even try to think about her hands right now.

The kiss turned hot and faced paced, suddenly urgent.

They were forced to come back to reality when there was a _bing_ that indicated they were on the ground floor again.

Reluctantly but hastily Cuddy pulled away from him and ran her thumb across her lips to catch any messed up lipstick. The door was sliding open and House rubbed his mouth with his hand too, just in case.

He straightened his tie and leaned over to her, whispering, "Call me when you can." Then he limped out of the elevator, glancing back at a very guilty looking Cuddy.

She regretfully realized that in less than twelve hours she was going on a honeymoon with Lucas and threw up in the elevator.

* * *

Ok, tell me what you thought. It might have felt a little OOC at some points but I had a lot of fun writing it. Tell me, continue or leave it?

-Tiff


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